双语:12件42岁的我希望自己22岁就明白的事
时间过得可真快,我好像昨天还只有12岁,去雪伍德森林骑自行车,就住在那个街角。同威廉,爱德华和我弟弟一起爬上树屋,盼望着马戏团的到来。那些日子多美好啊,我唯一害怕的是晚餐里头有肝做菜。
我22岁时,我知道我要结婚,要从大学辍学,将会负债,而且认为我到30岁时就会成为百万富翁---因为我这么聪明。事实上我到35岁才成为百万富翁,那也就到顶了。对实际生活我相当无知。如果时光能够倒流,我会告诉22岁的自己这些事情:
一、留在学校里,不要放弃。也许你现在就厌倦了,但是当你找到一份没有前途的工作又不敢放弃它时,你的想法就会不一样了。拿到你的学位会带来更多的机会。我一直想上法学院,可是因为少了那张文凭,我甚至没有报考的机会。(美国的法学院需要有学士学位者方可报考)。一旦开始就完成它。象上班一样对待大学生活,按时上课,做作业,学习,就像对待一份真正的工作一样对待你的学习。
二、钱不会宠坏你,它能维持你的生活,早些开始投资。你在高中和大学赚的钱还留下多少?如果我把其中的一半投入到一个平平常常的基金,单凭这一项我今天就会有19万2千美元了。我现在还想踢自己一脚。早早就开始投资。
三、不要买你看的第一栋房子,在最好的社区里买最便宜的房子。我没有做到这一点,虽然也差不多了。我们在信用点数够贷款时真是太兴奋了,在碰到能满足最低需要的第一栋房子时就买了下来。我现在还是很爱那所房子,但是我希望自己我们能做更多的调查,看看内部结构,找到一座离上班和上学更近些的房子。还有别让大额贷款搞的你焦头烂额。
四、养成按财政预算生活的习惯。没有什么比确保你的收支平衡重要。我尝试过几次但不是一直能做到。今天,我赚到的钱能够满足“体面”生活的预算。我的目标就是这样。如果尽早养成习惯就好了。记住:预算给予你的是自由而不是限制。如果我一直按照预算来生活,我可以避免很多痛苦的经历。
五、学会在任何事情上谈判争取到更好的条件。看了几本关于谈判的书后,发现自己看的太晚了,因为发现自己被很多家伙骗了,大多是卖二手车的。我写了一些关于谈判技巧的文章(你可以点击这里看到)早要学会这些可以省下我几千美元。记住:不断从中学习而且随时准备走开。
六、确保你的医疗保险一直有效。几年钱,我辞职另外找了一份要90天后才提供医疗保险的工作。我的太太在第89天时需要动手术。真的,第89天。你觉得保险公司在乎吗?你去想想吧。好在我们去的是圣 威盛医院,他们对我们开了恩。经理在考察了我们的财务状况后同意先垫付账单。以后那么多年里我想起来还觉得郁闷。我们用了好几年才付清账单。如果我只要把我们的保险再延长一点点。记住:确保保险有效。那比药费便宜。
七、在工作上时间的效率很重要,在家里时间的数量很重要。你的老板不在乎你是否有个家庭。相信我,除非你为你的家人工作,他理解你需要早些去接孩子,你需要时间陪伴你的伴侣。在这机器里你不过是一个可替代的螺栓。当人们试图在事业上有所进展时,你对个人时间的需要就只是第二位的了,包括你花在家庭上的时间。记住当你老的时候坐在敬老院的椅子上,有张毯子盖在你的膝盖上,吃着米糊的时候,你不会后悔没有花更多的时间在办公室里。记住:在工作结束之后,家庭还会在那里。珍视家庭。
八、别听那些认为可以一夜暴富的人说的话。世上是没有捷径可走的,你最好在二十二岁的时候就明确这一点。财富只有在你能够提供给人们需要的感兴趣的,独特的,有价值的东西时才会来到。现在你还在给人打工觉得你的工资低。“发现需要然后满足它”是句老格言而且现在还被引用,因为它是真的。在今天的世界应该说“创造一个只有你能满足的需要”然后你就会发现你的财富之路。记住:找到未被满足的需要然后找到满足这些需要的途径。
离那些多层次销售远远的。那需要你去发展新的分销商.那都是骗局。你不是“你的分销网络的首席执行官”你是一个委员会---基于你的社会关系去赚钱的推销员(会疏远你的家人和朋友)99.5%的人们都会损失钱,一再的研究表明了这一点。你的唯一好处就是明白消者如何变成分销商然后在其中99.995%的人都亏钱让0.005%最顶端的人发财。(这些人是最初开始整个生意的人)离它远远的。
九、确定你伴侣的价值观跟你一样。这一步比任何其他因素更能决定你的幸福。可怕吗?假如其他任何事情看起来都很对路,而他或她认为应该随心所欲的使用贷款,而你不这么认为,或者他觉得在家教育孩子是很奇怪的,而你不这么认为。你就可能使自己心碎。在你说‘我愿意’之前弄清楚这些事。他们说爱是伟大的。。。那么离婚就是50%的伟大。跟你的伴侣或潜在伴侣讨论对你重要的东西,讨论你打算交给你的孩子咋样的价值观,即使你不想要孩子。
十、学会如何建立保持发展人情网。跟你高中和大学时的同学保持联系,在要求帮助的时候就会显得很自然。观察别人是如何建立人际关系网的。记住关键不是你如何认识人,甚至不是你认识谁,关键是你如何运用你认识的人。更进一步,关键不是你认识谁,而是谁认识你。建立人际关系网而不求任何回报。与人为善。你永远不知道谁会帮上你。记住:保持联系确定你能得到帮助而非无助。
十一、永远不要因为薪水高就接受一份工作;生活不只是赚钱。他们会给你其他理由,比如你是最合适的,你是最有经验的,你的教育程度最高。也许除了你就没有别人能够胜任这份工作,只有这样的位置才能有这么高的薪水。问问前任现在干嘛去了。去跟他们谈谈,但是不要在办公室里。人们在办公室外会告诉你更多。在里头,那样意味着背叛,在外面,只是跟一位朋友聊聊。记住:在把煎锅放在火上之前先准备好勺子。
十二、经过核实再相信。不要相信你所听到,读到以及在孩提时代被灌输的一切。一直去核实,提出问题,寻找答案,对你被告知的想办法找到更多的信息。这是很重要的,这个世界充满了随时想坑你一把的阴谋家。不要因此玩世不恭,但是对任何事情要核实。记住:要知道你是跟谁打交道,他们的动机是什么。
弄明白你是谁,你的动机是什么。弄清楚你伴侣和孩子的动机。弄清楚你朋友的动机。弄清楚你的同事,老板和老板的老板的动机。不要停止学习,不要停止成长。到你42岁的时候,孩子,你就会成为百万富翁了。
那时候你会告诉20年前的自己什么呢?
My, how time flies. Seems just like yesterday that I was a 12 year old kid, going for long bike rides in Sherwood Forrest, the subdivision just around the corner from where I lived. Playing with William, Edward, and my little brother, climbing in the tree house, looking forward to Brent coming over to visit. Those were all good times and my only dread was finding out that we were having liver for supper.
By the time I was 22, I knew who I wanted to marry, was in the process of quitting college, going into debt, and thought that I would be a millionaire by the time I was 30 because I was so smart. Hey, it might take me until 35, but that was the top end. In reality, I was quite ignorant.
If I could go back in time, here are a few items I would tell my 22 year old self.
1. Stay in school. Don’t quit. Sure you’re bored now, but wait until you’re in a dead end job that you can’t stand but you’re afraid to lose. Getting finished with your degree will open up many more opportunities than you realize. I always wanted to go to law school, but without that sheepskin, I didn’t have a chance of even being considered. The lesson learned here is finish what you start by throwing yourself into it fully. Treat your college experience as if it were a job. Arrive on time, do your homework, study, and treat your learning process as if you were at a real job.
2. Money doesn’t spoil, it keeps. Start investing early. How much stuff do you have to show for the money you made in high school and college? If I had invested half of what I made during those years in a plain old, broad based mutual fund, I would have well over $192,000 with no other investments made since then. I’m still kicking myself. Invest early.
3. Don’t buy the first house you look at. Buy the cheapest house in the nicest neighborhood. No, I didn’t actually do this, but it was close. We were so excited to be approved for a loan, having just come out of Consumer Credit Counseling Services that we jumped at the first house we found that met our minimum requirements. I still love that house today, but I wish we had gotten a better inspection, had looked into building, or had found a way to buy a house that was closer to work and school. The lesson learned, don’t be desperate with a large purchase.
4. Establish the habit of living within a budget. Could anything be more important to insure you are living below your means? I tried on several occasions but I was never as faithful to this ideal as I should have been. Today, I make a salary high enough that a budget is a “yeah, we really ought to do that” kind of thing. My goal is to get that done. If I could do it over I would get myself in this habit at the earliest possible age. The lesson learned: budgeting is a freeing process, not a limiting one. If I had lived on a budget, I could have circumvented many painful events.
5. Learn how to negotiate a better deal on everything. Having read several books on negotiation just a little too late, I’ve recognized how I was duped by many people, mostly used car sales people. I wrote a review on Secrets of Power Negotiating that you can read here. Learning these skills would have saved me thousands. The lesson learned: prepare by educating yourself and always be willing to walk away.
6. Keep your medical insurance in force at all times. Several years ago, I quit one job and took another that didn’t offer medical insurance until you had been there for 90 days. You guessed it, my wife had to have emergency surgery at 89 days. True story. 89 days. Do you think the insurance company cared? I’ll let you guess. Thankfully, we were at St. Vincent’s Hospital and they had mercy on us. The business manager told me (after looking over my financial situation) that someone paid our bill. I still get choked up thinking about it all these years later. It took us years to pay off the doctor and anesthesia bills, though. If I had just kept my coverage in effect for a little while longer. The obvious lesson: keep that insurance in effect. It is cheaper than the medical bills.
7. It’s quality of time at work, but quantity of time at home that matters. Your boss really doesn’t care whether you have a family or not. Trust me. Unless you work for family members who DO understand that you need to pick the kids up early, or that you DO need to spend some time with your spouse, you are just a replaceable cog in the machine. When people are trying to grow a business, your need for personal time is secondary, so is the quality of your marital and family relationships. Just remember that when you’re old, sitting in a chair at the nursing home with a blanket on your lap and eating mush, you won’t regret that you didn’t get to spend more time at the office. The lesson learned: family will be there after the job is long gone. Value and treasure them.
8. Don’t listen to those who think there is a shortcut to wealth. NEW FLASH: there is no shortcut. Might as well get that out of your 22 year old head right now. Wealth is created when you provide something interesting, unique and valuable to people who demand it. Until then, you will be trading hours for dollars and you’ll always think you’re underpaid. “Find a need and fill it” is the old mantra and it is still quoted because it’s true. In today’s world it should read “Create a need that only you can fill.” Then you’ll be on your way to wealth. The lesson learned: figure out where there are unmet needs and figure out a way to fill those needs.
8a. Stay far, far away from any Multi Level Marketing “business” that requires you to sponsor new distributors. They are all scams. You are not “CEO of your own distribution network”-you are a commission-based salesperson relying on the liquidation of your social capital (i.e. alienating your friends and family) to make any money at all?and 99.5% of people in MLM’s lose money, as has been shown again and again in numerous studies. The only profit you can ever make is by turning what would be called “customers” into “distributors” and then taking the money from the 99.995% that lose money in the organization and giving it to the 0.005% at the top (the people who started the whole “business” in the first place). Stay away!
9. Make sure your spouse’s values line up with your own. This one step can single handedly determine your level of happiness more than just about any other. Scary isn’t it? If everything seems so right, yet he or she thinks credit should be used at will (and you don’t) or thinks that home schooled kids are strange (and you want your children to be home schooled), you are setting yourself up for heartbreak. Work these things out before you say “I do.” They say love is grand . . . and divorce is 50 grand. The lesson learned: talk to your spouse or potential spouse about what is important to you and the values you think should be taught to your children, even if you don’t plan on having children.
10. Learn how to network. Learn to stay in touch with old friends from high school and college. Learn the skill of asking for help without seeming to be asking for help. Watch how others network. Remember it’s not what you know, it’s not even who you know, it’s how you USE what you know and who you know. One step further, it’s not who you know, it’s who knows YOU. Get in the practice of networking without expecting anything in return. Make sure you don’t come across as a brown nosing leech who is always trying to get an angle, but stay in touch with people. You never know who you may be able to help. The lesson learned: stay in touch and make sure you come across as helpful rather than helpless.
11. Never accept a job just because the pay is higher. Life is more than money. There’s a reason they’re offering you more. Yes it may be that you’re the most qualified. It may be that you have the most experience and the most education. It may be that no one can stand to work for that particular department head and a high salary is the only way to fill the position. Always ask where the person who last held the position is working now. Ask to speak with them, but always do it away from the office. People will give you more information outside of the office than inside. Inside the office, they’re committing treason, outside, hey - they’re just chatting with a friend. The lesson learned: Get the full scoop before jumping out of a frying pan into the fire.
12. Trust, but verify. You can’t believe everything you hear, read, or were taught as a kid. You should always check references, ask probing questions, search out answers, and find ways to learn more about what you’re being told. This is a catch all but it is important. The world is full of schemers who are just waiting to take you for a ride. Don’t become cynical, but verify everything you can. The lesson learned: make sure you know who it is you’re dealing with and what their motives may be.
Learn who you are and what motivates you. Learn what motivates your spouse and children. Learn what motivates your friends. Learn what motivates your co-workers, your boss, and your boss’s boss. Never stop learning, never stop growing. By the time you reach 42, kid, you’ll be a millionaire! :)
What would you tell yourself if you could go back twenty years?
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